Well what can I say... this blog is gonna be long and rammed full of pics. If there is anyone who reads this and doesn't know me or I just don't like them you may not know I have just been to New Zealand for a few weeks with my Ma and Pa and met up with my Bro and Carla after they have been away for 7 months.
Its day 5...6.. err can't really remember, but it has already been a mega ace trip. We picked up our Mega camp-er van the other day and instantly I could see she was to be called Geronimo, she just had that look about her. She is a sassy little number who will and did guide us through the 3000 kilometres we did whilst we were on the South Island.Yep thats right 3000 kilometres is over 2000 miles in about 13 days!!!!
It has only rained once so far and that was actually for the best as it stopped us going whale watching (wait for it, I will explain later). So instead of going to Kaikoura we had a little detour to Hanmer Springs. Here we visited the natural springs they had, I was disapointed as the spring were naturally hot but the water was pumped into man made pools not natural rock pools as I had hoped. They were full of sulpha which basically stank of dirty rotten eggs but the water in some pools got as hot as 41 degrees.
So the day after we headed back to Kaikoura for what turned out to be the most perfect day for whale spotting ever. People had told me the weather in NZ changes pretty quickly but it went from grey dull and pissing it down one day to bright cloud free skys the next. As the pictures show we managed to see 2 sperm (tee hee) whales. This was an amazing sight and especially as they surfaced for about 15 mins each. The guides were excellent as they even knew when they were going to dive and when we would see that huge tail. I have honestly never seen something so amazing. On the way back we were lucky enough to see Albatrosses, Seals/sea lions as the NZ seal aka Fur seal is actually a member of the Sea Lion family as it has ears (not just a fun trip, also very educational)!!!
I also learned that they are called sperm whales as they have 2.5 Tonnes of white oil in their heads which whalers originally thought was sperm. On the way back we were told that unfortunatley we had run out of time to see any Dolphins so back to port we headed.... only to be told that the Dolphins had found us. We raced to the top deck to see literally hundreds of DOLPHINS headed towards the boat. They truly are the clowns of the sea as they basically just dived, bombed, back flipped and jumped their way along with the boat. The pictures don't really do them or anything I saw justice but I hope they come some way to helping describe how amazing the experiences were.
On the way round we stopped in Franz Josef to see the Glacier. Basically this is a huge moving piece of ice that along with other Glaciers (sadly most have melted) literally carved the way through the rock to create the stunning mountains and scenery you can see in the pictures. This picture is of the Glacier which can move upto 1 metre per day!! As well as Milford Sound (technically not a sound but a fiord). (see above)
We are now on our way to Queens Town which we managed to make our base for a few days. Queens Town is a cool little place, very new England-ish and has loads to offer. Me, Mozza, Matt and Carla decided that Queens was the place to do white water rafting. This was a little dissapointing as the rivers are at their fullest in Spring when the snow melts (it is now NZ's Autumn). Me and Matt however decided that we would try to navigate through one set of rapids by swimming them instead of being on the raft. Only after we got back in the raft and navigated through them did our guide say "it's good to make sure you breath in when you are going up the wave and not what most people do which is breath in when you are at the top because the wave breaks on you and you can drown"!! Me and Matt looked at each other as we were coughing up shit loads of water thinking thanks for f**king telling us that now!!!!
After this we decided that we wanted to be more extreme and went luge-ing down a mountain. Basically this is like go-karting but because its in Queens it's more extreme!!! The next day was a little strange for me as I don't really like wine but PAID to go on a tasting tour with the Parry's and Carla. But I think I made the guides day as when we got there she asked everyone what wine they drank and recieved replys like.... " well I'm a cab fan" "I preffer a fruity white with a hint of passion fruit" and then me "I actually don't like wine"!!!! I'm happy to say though that I did find a wine I could stomach which was a cheeky little Riesling which I described as almost fizzy with a nice bouguet on the pallet, as I had a 'moment'. Whilst in Queens we also visited Minus 5 bar which is pretty much what it sounds like..... yep a bar that is constanly between -5 and -10 which you are only allowed to stay in for 30 mins and due to the carbon dioxide levels you are only allowed 3 drinks as each one is basically tripple the strengh due to the conditions.
This was also the ill fated night that me and Matt decided that Deeply Dippy needed a revamp and set upon writing our own version based upon our childhood.
"Deeply Dippy bout the quiche you make, Oh my god, oh for goodness sake".
"Deeply Dippy bout your pantry ware, oh my god whack it in yer tupaware".
Chorus
"Oh my love lets set sale upon yer flan case".
"Ohh mmmyy god lets stick vol-a-vonts in our face"
“Deeply Dippy about your table lamps, Oh my god whip off yer pantry pants”.
“Deeply Dippy about your glory hole, oh my god it’s as black as coal”.
Chorus
“Deeply Dippy about yer eggy whites, Oh my days De-lias a trans-vest-ite”.
“Deeply Dippy about beta max, it top loads and that’s a f*cking fact”!!!
Chorus
And so on etc etc……
Next we visited a place called Omaru. Basically we saw penguins here. The smallest and rarest in the world... the Blue Pengiun as well as the Yellow browed or something. We ventured up to Bushy Beach to see this fellow.... Penguin Hello!!!!
As we saw this chap someone pushed passed me and I grabbed onto a fence….. Yeah it was an electric fence and I received two pulses up my arm!!!
We went to see the Blue Penguins come in from the sea and as they are only 30cm high the waves would brake on the beach and all of a sudden there were about 30 of the little devils just standing there looking nervous. Unfortunately as they were timid faces you were not allowed to photo them.
Right don’t worry we are now on the home stretch and are in a place called Akakroa. We booked onto a trip at 8.15 in the morning to go swimming with the worlds smallest and rarest WILD dolphins, the Hector Dolphins. This was no swim in a pool or on the beach basically they took us out into the REAL Ocean. (Which as I was told, “it’s the sea, you get sharks here… we cannot guarantee there not there”)!!! Basically I heart the beach, I like being on boats on it but floating there in water that’s hundreds/thousands of meters deep scares the shit out of me!!!!! I braved the sharks (and as we were told afterwards the Killer Whales that migrate this way and feed on the dolphins) to float there with Dolphins swimming in and out of us whilst we made all the noise we could to attract them. One of the most memorable occasions of my life as they swam within centimetres of us bobbing and weaving in and out of us. That was our last full day in NZ and I feel a very fitting end to our trip.
Here is the ground we covered in no paticular order. Blenim, ChristChurch, Queens Town (twice) Hanmer, Kaikoura, Akaroa, Timaru, Milford Sound (basically the wick waterfall pics...stunning)!! Te Anau and Franz Josef.
I basically became B.Oddie whilst I was away as these little fellas the first being the 'moutain clown' Kea and the second i named clive, decided that they were gonna become my best friend and came within touching distance and were just happy to sit there looking at me.
This little guy was ace, on the last day he turned up as we were unloading Geronimo and was my new best friend... he was ace.
and here is the Holiday playlist and mandatory slogons... "Don't you worry about it"!!
"Imagine if a gust of wind came in now and expossed my Gusset!! and a little ginger girl was walking past and said... "daddy I can see that mans Gusset"!!! "Daaaady whats a Gusset"???
Horse, pengiun, hector etc etc Hello!!!
Deeply Dippy, Face for the radio, I would walk 500 miles and Pounding by Doves.
ps don't go swiming on the top of Singapore Airport as the Chlorine will literally burn your eyes!! Trust me, I still stink of Chlorine 4 showers after!!!
thats right I put it in a bucket
